When I became disabled from the Pfizer vaccine August 2021 I was extremely fortunate to have my doctor submit an application for me to receive disability benefits right away. I qualified for one 6 month term of temporary disability that would last me until February 2022. But by February I needed help more than ever. My doctor resubmitted an application to extend my benefits 3 times with no luck. February came and went with no indication I would be approved for financial help. Months prior I sold my car and used the money to live, now I would sell everything I own and move.
My stress level took a severe toll on my body and my mind. Physically I could not care for myself. Chained by chronic, debilitating pain I could barely walk or move and could not sit up at all. With money running out and no guarantee more was coming in I had to move; but couldn’t get approved to rent a room anywhere. No family to help. No friends that could take me in. No real idea of how destroyed my insides were or what would cure me. Completely unaware of the extensive damage to my muscles or the amount of rehabilitation I needed.
I was facing disability, pennilessness and homelessness. Paralyzed with fear and no idea what to do. March 2022 I continued fighting for disability benefits while flip-flopping weekly from place to place, staying where I could. The disruption of mere survival overtook my ability to focus on getting well leaving me to flounder in recovery another month…subsequently getting worse. Finally in April 2022 I left Orange county to stay with my best friend. By that time I was so sick and beaten down with adversity I weighed a slight 88 pounds. She couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw me.
You know those times when you’re going through something and you think you just can’t take one more day of it? That was me…that was me many times – but this was the first time after becoming disabled where I felt like I was falling apart and wasn’t sure I had the fortitude to hold myself together. The reality of my situation hit me so hard I was collapsed with heartbreak, depression and exhaustion. If it wasn’t for my dear friend I don’t know what I would have done. Loving my like her own flesh and blood sister, she cared for me 24/7 and loved me back to life.
With her help I began a rigorous detox program. Previously I did not have the luxury of a tub, so to start, I soaked in bentonite clay, baking soda, Epsom salt and essential oils for an hour (2 hrs if I could bear the pain) every day. Hot sunny days you could find me in the backyard soaking up vitamin D. She borrowed an Ionic Foot Detox Cleanse machine from a family member and we used that every other day. The previous fall I got off prescription pain pills, muscles relaxers, steroids and gabapentin and replaced with CBD, kratom and delta-8; now it was time to get off the last prescription drug – Lyrica.
Between my vax injury symptoms, detoxing, withdrawing from Lyrica and stress I was a sickly mess. I could barely eat or keep anything down which, by default, resulted in intermittent fasting (I found out later how beneficial intermittent fasting actually was). Within a week I deteriorated to 83 pounds. I couldn’t keep or put weight on. My muscles, damaged and weaker than before, struggled to bear my own weight.
Lyrica is said to be one of the gnarliest drugs to withdraw from. (kind of a good thing I didn’t know then). For weeks I suffered insane headaches, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, severe anxiety, feeling suffocated, unable to catch my breath, pressure and tightness in my chest, uncontrollable emotional lows, sobbing and depression, shakes and tremors that felt like I might seize at any moment, insomnia, sharp abdominal cramps, and more vomiting and diarrhea…on top of everything else. The agonizing nightmare felt strong enough to consume my will many times. Despair never left me.
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